Since I've been a full-time homemaker for over a decade now, I've noticed something - I am definitely in the minority. According to recent statistics, more than 75% of both parents work outside the home today. What is the consequences of this choice we've made as Americans? From what I've seen in these past ten plus years, the consequences are wide and vary greatly. The biggest consequence I've noticed is empty neighborhoods. My kids come home from school and there's hardly a kid on the entire block for them to play with - they're all at daycare centers. My kids get lonely and have even asked to go to these "centers" so they could play with their friends from school! Here I am trying to provide them a loving home environment, and they've got no other peers to interact with after school. In order for them to play with their friends, I've got to arrange "play dates" way in advance, pick up their friends from school (because their parents can't due to work), and then the parents will pick them up after work or I will drop them off. It's so complicated! I might as well charge for after school day care just so my kids can play with their friends!
When I was growing up, all the neighborhood children got together after school to play in someone's backyard. We would play "monkeys" in our big tree, or we'd play trolls at my next door neighbor's house, or go ride our skateboards down the street and compete with each other for who did the coolest tricks on their boards. There was no need to arrange "play dates" - things just happened naturally, and we'd all have a great time simply hanging out with each other outside.
Another thing I've noticed is that parents seem to feel compelled to have their kids in every known extra-curricular activity imaginable. Soccer practice on Monday, piano lessons Tuesday, Catechism on Wednesdays, Drama Club on Thursdays, etc. Gee whiz, what ever happened to simply daydreaming?
Kids are shuffled back and forth between divorced parents, too. One child I know has two step brothers, one half-brother and twin half-siblings on the way! He's got to share his life with this blended family in addition to visiting his father every other weekend out of state. My goodness, even I as an adult would struggle with balancing all of those relationships, let alone a seven year old boy! This has become more the "norm" than the lifestyle I lead with my family.
You might call us "traditional" and old-fashioned. My husband is the primary bread-winner and provides financially for our family. I provide the home management. I balance our budget, buy healthy foods and meal plan, cook and bake those planned meals, keep the home clean and orderly, make sure the kids do their homework and keep themselves groomed well, and keep on top of home repair needs. Our home runs very well this way. We live comfortably, and have a nice, peaceful home-life full of time together eating dinner at the table, reading books and magazines, playing games and creating together. It's a wonderful life! It's an art - the art of homemaking. In many ways, it's become a lost art in our culture.
I've been to many homes where they live in disarray, with clutter everywhere, fast food cartons spewed about their cars and kitchens, and tired looking children. They have big, new homes with two great cars in their three-car garages (the third car space used for housing more stuff), and lots of techo-toys to indulge in. but they can't find a clean pair of socks, or don't remember the last time they all sat down together for a home-cooked meal. Is that living? Are they truly happy?
For us to live the lifestyle we do, we've made some pretty big sacrifices. The biggest one was moving from an expensive place in Southern California where we rented, to a modest home in the Midwest of which we have almost paid off. We left the sunshine and beaches for the snow and lakes, and settled for an old home that keeps us warm. We only have a two-car garage with cars that are paid for, (and stuff stuck around those cars). We don't have all the latest techno-toys and only ONE television in the entire house. Our "tweenager" doesn't have a cell phone, and our son doesn't own a Nintendo DS. But guess what? We are happy and we love our family life. Our children are well balanced and self-assured. They actually like each other and get along great! My husband and I have a happy marriage and will be growing old together, thank you very much! It IS possible to do these things, with God's help and a little self-sacrifice.
© 2010 Lisa Quintana. No part of this text can be used without prior written request.
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